We Need To Talk About Coffee

Okay, can we seriously just take a moment. You know what lets take a few moments, five to be exact.

But Chris why are we taking moments? Why are we pausing? Well I’ll tell you all.

Lets just take some moments to talk about Coffee.

That’s right, coffee. As in the hot beverage (none of that skinny jean, choker wearing, hanging out in groups of a million iced frappy drinks) No! Proper brewed, hot, rich, bold tasting nectar from the gods.

Okay lets dial it back a little, why coffee? Well because its amazing in every single way. Because its not just a drink, its a lifestyle. Okay maybe not that far. But it is amazing. But before I share my way of thinking with you, first lets hit you with the few absolutely irrelevant, random factoids (may not be factual at all) I do actually know about coffee.

1. It first came about probably A.D lets say 745. Yes 745 A.D coffee was discovered by a tribe.

2. Coffee is the most traded commodity on earth. Possibly in the universe.
3. It probably prevents cancerous cells OR causes them. With all the absolute nonsense we hear about what does and doesn’t cause cancer these days its hard to keep up.
4. There are two different types of coffee bean (this one I know) Aribica and Robusta. Most of which are Aribica but Robusta has more caffine and is also more bitter tasting. FACT.
5. It stays warmer when you add milk/cream. Black coffee cools quicker. Don’t know why probably science.

Anyway now you are as up to date as I am on the history and makings of coffee. But why dedicate a post on it?

Because coffee.

There’s something so pleasing, so inviting, so warming, no ahhh I don’t even know how to put it. That first cup in the morning, so delicate yet so assertive. It wakens you up…Hard but at the same time, places a delicate hand on your shoulder letting you know the day is going to be okay. Not to mention the smell. I think the ultimate way to describe how coffee smells is ‘Professional’ (Thanks Mr Ross Byrne for that one). But its true. Remember years ago in school when the teachers would come back after break with a cup and you didn’t even pass any remarks back then but there was always that distinct professional smell? Yeah.

Its what I picture corporate companies smell like. Offices. Tax buildings. (I haven’t been in a whole pile of buildings) but the buildings which I walk into that have that distinct professional smell… I remember them.

 

I envy barristas, I really do. Imagine being able to work with thee single most important liquid beverage in the world. Imagine being able to craft and create each and every day and by craft and create I simply mean, pour a hot cup of the black stuff. No flavourings. No bullshitty additives. (Although, I will admit I may be partial to a white coffee maybe once a year). Don’t get me wrong, its pretty cool what can be done with some cream and foam and chocolate powder stuff. But that’s not proper coffee. I don’t care what you say.

Here’s another thing. Coffee is made to be savoured. Enjoyed. Its a drink made to be sat over. Enjoyed taking in the surrounding buzz of the cafe or the street outside or even just the stillness around the home. It is NOT and I repeat NOT a drink to be loaded into some cheap piece of cardboard (which is probably damaging the taste of the bean that was farmed for you to enjoy) and carried about willy nilly. It is NOT a fashion statement. It is NOT a trendy accompaniment to your outfit.

Its much more than that.

Some of the best cups of coffee I’ve had were on the Parisian backstreets wh… I’m kidding, I’m not that pretentious. Coffee is good wherever it is enjoyed and I firmly believe everyone should be drinking it. I don’t want to hear ‘I don’t like it’. Jees, there’s plenty of things you can not like in your life, coffee is not one of them. Atleast make the effort to ‘wean’ onto it. Start with a half cup, loaded up with milk and sugar (if you must) and gradually ease it out until you find a taste you enjoy (preferably black) and then we can be friends and go grab a coffee together (maybe) I always find it incredibly difficult to turn down a coffee.

I have plenty of friends, family and loved ones who I aim to get drinking coffee this year and maybe then will they understand this post. I guess if you don’t actually drink the stuff, you’ve just read this and though what the F. I’m not even sorry. You seen the title.

But guess what. I can guarantee you when you do start drinking it, you wont regret it because theres basically no given situation I can think of that coffee cant help.

Tired, have a coffee. Hungover drink a coffee. Meeting friends, grab a coffee (No more being the guy/girl who orders the hot chocolate). Worried, coffee. Tired, coffee (decaf). Stressed, coffee. Happy, coffee time.

See, no situation. Ever.

Anyway, as I type this I sit with the soothing scent of a fresh pot just filling the room. A fresh cup of delicate nectar nay of absolute magic is about to be consumed and I just hope that someday you too will know this feeling.

Now go!

And please for the love of god enjoy your coffee.